Some times when he behaves like this, I just need a break from him so I don't post him on the KSL classifieds and mark him as "Free!" ... but I don't know where to send him. My mom is really good to him, and will almost always watch him when I need to go somewhere, but she hasn't ever been one to just come over and take him to give me a break. That's just not how she is. The days when I am struggling the most and tell her I'm going to give him away, she just thinks it's funny and laughs at me like I am joking. I was stuck in the nursery right after we moved in and was there for so long that I don't really know very many people in my ward that well yet, so I wouldn't ever feel comfortable enough to just hand him over to them. He's so crazy, I would feel guilty pushing him on someone I barely know.
It's hard because although I have family around, I don't really feel like I do some of the time. We don't ever see Mart's parents. Ethan doesn't even know Dalina (Mart's step-mom) at all. He kind of knows Big Martin, but he never really goes out of the way to see Ethan. Sometimes I just feel a little ripped off in that part of my life. Ethan basically only has 1 grandparent and Debi (which I pretty much consider to be another grandparent now). It's totally a good thing he has Kace, Ber and George who love and adore him. His Aunt's and Uncle make up for the lack of grandparents to love and spoil him.
Anyway, I think Kace can tell when I'm at my wits end and she comes to the rescue as often as she can. She is totally busy with work and her own baby to take care of, but she comes and picks Ethan up and takes him swimming at the sports academy, just the two of them. He LOVES it! He's always so good for her and talks about nothing but "shwimming" with Kace for about a week. It's such a life saver some days and I am so grateful to have her in our lives! I'm so glad she moved back home from Oregon, because I really missed her while she was gone. I love her so much and she is totally my best friend. I tell her all the time, but I hope she always knows how much I love and appreciate her for all that she has ever done for me. It was a huge deal for me when she volunteered to watch Ethan every morning so I could go to school, and I don't think I can ever fully repay her for that...but I will try. :)
Ethan sure loves her and loves spending time with her. Thanks for taking him "shwimming!", he LOVES it!
Here is Ethan all ready to go swimming with Kace. We even packed him his own backpack with sunscreen and snacks.
He loved carrying that backpack around. He felt all grown up!
And... even though I feel like giving my child away some times, I do love him more than I think he will ever know. He's one of the lights in my life and I can't imagine life without him. (Although, it would be nice if it could be less stressful some times).
2 comments:
I never had family around when my kids were little so I know what you mean. Fortunately we found friends who didn't have family around either and they became our family. I look back at those days and remember only the bonds we created...such good times. Hang in there!
I feel your pain! My family is great but I feel all alone down in Salt Lake and my mom is the same way as yours. I seriously wonder how she managed to raise four of us when my kids drive me insane most days! I think it's their way of trying to be big people but it sure sucks that we have to let them have their agency! Maybe we could do a kid swap... I guarantee you would take back a rough and tumble boy over a sassy girl! Hang in there Kelsie! Motherhood is the hardest thing in the world to do and in the end as long as our kids know we love them, I think that's all that will matter.
Post a Comment